Yes, it’s competition time again – and this time we’re upping the stakes with a truly fantastic prize: £500 credit at The Whisky Exchange!! Our sister company Speciality Drinks Ltd are going to launch a new premium bourbon soon – and they want YOUR help. They’ve been racking their brains for something to call this precious liquid- and though they’ve had a few ideas, they’re not totally convinced. They reckon that there’s a great name out there, but they just can’t put their finger on it. So they’ve come to The Whisky Exchange Blog: send me your ideas, and if SDL decide that yours is the best, they’ll stick it on the bottle – and you’ll get £500 credit at TWE!!!
Now, the rules for entering this competition are very simple, but very important, so please read them. If you break any of them, you’re out.
1. All entrants must be over the legal drinking age in their country of residence. That’s a given.
2. To be eligible, all entries MUST be sent to me at tim[at]thewhiskyexchange.com. Don’t post them in the comments – remember, SDL have to get copyright approval on this: if you blurt it out in public, one of the snidey chancers who trawl this blog looking for ideas to enhance their own pitiful offerings will nick it – and you’ll be left feeling like a proper chump!
3. The prize will be £500 of credit to spend online at TWE. This £500 is not transferable, includes shipping and must be spent in one hit. If you go over £500 (including shipping) you’ll need to pay the extra yourself. No, you can’t just have the money.
4. By entering the competition, you understand and accept that this prize will be your payment in full for supplying the bourbon name to Speciality Drinks Ltd. After that it’s theirs, not yours – end of story. If they go on to make it a world-famous brand and sell a squillion cases of it you still don’t get any more money or any other payment in kind. Sorry, but that’s how it has to be.
5. The prize will be awarded only after the relevant copyrights can be obtained and the product has come to market.
6. TWE is not liable for any costs pertaining to legal actions for damages or injury resulting from the consequences of any massive surge in kudos, free drinks, attention from the opposite sex or increased sexual potency (real or imagined) experienced by the winner as a result of being able to point at bottles of bourbon in bars while saying ‘I invented that’.
7. The competition will run until someone wins, or until SDL pull their finger out and think of something themselves – whichever comes soonest. Don’t delay if you’ve got a good idea, someone else might think of it too. And then you’ll be sorry.
Okay, so bring it on – what would you call a classy new bourbon? Here’s a few guidelines to help you think up a name:
1. No Looky-Likeys – Tim Beam, Five Roses, George T. Spragg and Mild Turkey are all out – as is Jock Daniels, which wouldn’t even be a bourbon anyway. Be original.
2. No Surnames or Proper Names – It’s to do with US copyright law, you can’t register any new brand using a surname, unfortunately. Angus McThistle’s Pure Kentucky is a no-no.
3. Remember, this is meant to be a bit posh – Jethro’s Old Boweltwister is a brilliant name, but sadly it’s not what the judges are looking for on this occasion.
4. Don’t make false claims – Dr. Hermann’s Patented Enlightenment-Inducing EmotionSoother won’t get past trading standards.
Right that’s it: email me your suggestions on tim[at]thewhiskyexchange.com – once again, for pity’s sake don’t post them in the comments.
Slainte and Good Luck everyone,
Do we get any details about the bourbon? Anything special about the process; location, distilling, maturation?
No proper or surnames- well that’s my suggestion out the window then:
Forbes’ Faciltatory Fornicatin’ Firewater
I shall return from the cliche mines truimphant though…..
Sounds interesting. What’s the deadline?
I thought along the lines of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, but then saw rule 4.
Of course I meant rule 3. Sorry, but still bugger!
Its funny how something like the thought of £500 free credit at the whisky exchange can push your mind into creative overdrive. Talk about an incentive…
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I’m still laughing from reading “Professor Tiddles Loopy Juice.”
And you said competion entries shouldn’t be exposed to trawlers…